


One Condition

by wolfstarmarauder



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Absent Parents, Animagus, Bisexual Female Character, Bisexual Sirius Black, Canon Divergence, Closeted Character, Eventual Smut, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, F/M, Female Character of Color, Fluff and Smut, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Jegulus has my Heart, Light Angst, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Multi, References to Depression, Slow Burn, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-19 04:55:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29745312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfstarmarauder/pseuds/wolfstarmarauder
Summary: Venus Kingsley hates her life. The only thing keeping her alive is her record of 'Sheer heart attack' by Queen. Oh, and also maybe the marauders, but she'd never give them the satisfaction of knowing.Set from 5th year - onwards. HEAVY queer themes. Subtle Wolfstar, eventual Sirius x Venus. Will occasionally waver from original plot, hence the canon divergence tag. There will be a lot of Marlene x Venus moments throughout the 5th year chapters, but this is NOT strictly a Marlene fic. Slow updates because I pre-write a couple chapters, then publish.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Marlene McKinnon/Original Female Character(s), Regulus Black/James Potter, Sirius Black/Original Female Character(s), Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Kudos: 3





	1. Fifth year - painful traits of a Capricorn

1st September, 1975

Venus Kingsley was doing just fine. She had no reason to not be happy. Except for the fact that her life was facing it’s impending doom one second quicker than it was the last. And for the fact that Venus Kingsley, for once in her life, decided to openly accept her emotions. Or rather her infatuation. For a girl. 

God damn, her parents would be pissed if they found out. But yet again, Venus had already found herself leaning against the cold railing of her balcony facing the quiet street in Bloomsbury, taking a long drag from a cigarette whilst her parents were probably setting the breakfast table downstairs. And she found herself with a tar black mane of curls (which she had impulsively dyed the night before) to match the equally depressing side effects of whatever is in those cigarettes Sirius gave her.

Coming to terms with her life, her identity, her sexuality was always confusing. And Venus was an active hater of the unknown, detesting the thought of how she thought she had herself figured out but turns out she didn’t. One of the painful traits of a capricorn.

Venus let her thoughts wander to her friends. Remus, Sirius, James, Lily… All of them just seemed to know who they were and have stability in their identity. So why did Venus feel so different? Why did she now have to start questioning herself? After she thought she had it all figured out? She hated how curiosity got the better of her and she now found herself catching feelings for a girl who would probably actively hate-crime her if she were to figure out Venus’ sexuality.

But a part of Venus did want this girl to find out, so that Venus could be rejected and move on already. 

It was a Monday morning at 6am and Venus Kingsley at the tender age of 15 was already having an existential crisis. What a way to start the school year. In frustration, she threw the cigarette down onto the street below her and walked back into her bedroom only to paint an unnecessary amount of eyeliner onto her eyelids. In fact, the only thing Venus could clearly remember from the summer (aside from heaps of overthinking) was the tedious time it took to create her own perfection of a winged eyeliner.

“Breakfast”

Venus took no time to reply to her mother before grabbing her suitcase and lugging it down the spiral staircase towards the dining room. “Morning” was all Venus had the energy to say because she knew her mother wasn’t even going to realise her daughter’s dyed hair and strong cigarette smoke scent. “Your father and I want to get to work early today so please use the floo powder to get to the station. We’ll see you at Christmas, unless you’re spending it with one of your friends.” Her mother spoke in a hurried voice, one Venus knew all too well. The voice of disinterest. 

“Bye Mum, bye dad.”

The sound of floo powder dropped to the floor and next thing she knew her parents were gone, and the whole house was silent. Venus had come to terms with her relationship with her parents. Her parents were conservative workaholics for the ministry, whilst she was probably the ministry’s embodiment of the antichrist. And she knew how her parents pretty much worshipped the ministry, so naturally the two parties would disagree on almost anything. The only upside to her parents was that they didn’t feed off of the supposed ‘Dark Lord’ rumors. Her pureblood parents had been brandished as blood traitors years ago.

Venus then downed a cup of pure black coffee before grabbing her robe and putting it over her bell bottom jeans and black jumper. Luckily, her parents had done the decent thing of sending the majority of her luggage to her dorm already, and Venus didn’t have an owl because it’s not like her parents ever wrote to her anyways. After a few minutes of eating in pure silence, Venus took her suitcase and wand before grabbing a handful of floo powder and throwing it at the ground whilst simultaneously whispering “Platform 9 and ¾.”

The rush of happy families wishing their children farewells as they boarded the train made Venus feel sick. How do some people like their parents that much? I mean seriously. No one could love someone they were forcefully placed into the same household as. They must be faking. 

The crowds died down as the last students boarded the Hogwarts Express, Venus being one of them. She had attempted to find her friends but failed, leaving her to sit in an empty carriage with nothing but a book she stole from a muggle library to keep her company.

“Well well well, if it isn’t Kingsley”

“Black”

“Hope you weren’t trying to get rid of us”

“Potter”

“Hey V, nice hair”

“Lup-- oh thanks, dyed it yesterday”

Venus was never a chatty person, the only people that could in fact hear more than just a single word answer from her were the likes of the boys now entering the carriage sitting on the seats next to and opposite her - the marauders. Over the years, Venus created a close bond with the popular boys of the Gryffindor house, it all having started with a prank gone horribly, horribly wrong.

In all the 5 years of knowing each of them, people always liked to spread rumors of her having a major crush on one of them, when in reality she saw them as annoying older brothers, nothing else. Well, that part was up for debate but at least, in this current moment, Venus liked a girl. And she didn’t know if she even liked guys that way. She still needed to figure that out.

“Have you guys ever questioned your sexuality?”

“What happened to hello? How’s your summer?”

“Well those are questions and I just asked one, so it counts”

“That’s not how it works, and yes, I have. See? I answered your question, now answer mine”

“Well hello Sirius, my summer was pretty shit. I’m now addicted to cigarettes and I’m only 15, I have severe depression and I just had an existential crisis this morning. Happy?”

“Satisfied”

Venus and Sirius’ friendship dynamic could only be described as two ratty toddlers that constantly pull each other’s hair to get the other in trouble. Stupid, loud and annoying.

“Wait… you said you have questioned your sexuality?”

“Is that not normal to do at this age?”

“Well, I don’t know. That’s why I asked”

“Because you have?”

“No, definitely not. Absolutely not.”

“That was incredibly convincing”

“Shut it, Sirius”

Venus must admit that Sirius’ answer wasn't surprising. Of course he had probably experimented before, hell, he had practically experimented with everyone. There were even points in time when she was jealous. She was a later bloomer than the rest of her friends, only realising mood changes and body changes over the summer. She hadn’t even had her first kiss, but she now felt a sudden urge to want to. But finding someone willing to kiss her would be her first obstacle, because being friends with three extremely tall and intimidating boys made it hard.

After about 15 minutes of James talking Venus’ ear off about quidditch strategies for the new season, she heard two familiar voices approaching their carriage. Shit. Now was not the time for Venus to see the girl she had undoubtedly caught feelings for. Venus never had crushes before, so she had no idea how she would act with the pretty girl looking at her or even talking to her. As if on command, the door to their train carriage opened and a medium-heighted girl with long red locks and uniform with a prefect badge on her cloak stood before them - Lily Evans. It was no mystery that James had been pining for her since the first time they met. To some extent, Venus thought James’ determination was admirable; being able to never give up on the one he loves without fear of rejection. Venus was the complete opposite.

“Evans, how are you on this fine morning? Wanted to see me?” spoke James, comically pushing up his glasses and staring into her big green eyes.

“I’m doing fine, but I’m not here for you. I’m here for Remus, actually. Prefect duties await”

All of us turned to look at Remus who refused to look up from his book. He was embarrassed.

“Moony’s a prefect? Honestly not surprised. Go on then Evans, we’ll bully him for it later” Sirius said, holding back a smirk.

Being Remus’ biggest supporter, Venus whacked Sirius on the head with her book and gave him a death glare. Sirius’ smirk all of a sudden disappeared and he slumped into his seat like a sad old dog.

“Thanks V, catch up later? Also, black hair suits you”

“Of course Lils, and thanks”

Venus turned back to her book and opened to the page she was reading before when a voice she had been trying to get out of her head cleared their throat.

“Hey guys! Mind if I steal Venus so we can change into our robes?”

“Hey Marlene, and no problem, just don’t take her for too long, we weren’t done discussing quidditch strategies”

For someone who didn’t have anxiety, Venus sure as hell felt herself having an anxiety attack right then and there as she looked up from her book. Her eyes slowly traced the outline of Marlene’s figure - her long, slim legs, her toned stomach that peeked out from her skimpy tank top, her shoulder length blonde hair that had been swooped into some sort of half-up-half-down hairstyle, her honey brown eyes. Merlin, Venus had it bad. 

“Venus, you alright there? You zoned out for a bit” Sirius said wiggling his eyebrows in a mischievous way.

“Huh? Oh I’m fine. One sec Mar, I’ve got to grab my robe from my bag. I’ll catch up with you on the way to the changing carriage.”

“Okay, don’t take too long!” Marlene spoke in her soft and mellow british accent.

Once the doors to the carriage had shut, both James and Sirius looked at each other knowingly and back at Venus.

“You like Marlene” they said in a creepy unison.

“Why would you say such a preposterous thing? And how would you know anyways, it’s not like it’s obvious”

“So you do like her”

“No, I don’t. Even if I did I know for a fact she’s as straight as a ruler”

“So that’s what the questioning was about earlier… Must admit, I didn’t see it coming” For a second, Sirius sounded disappointed. But Venus didn’t think much of it.

“Neither did I, Sirius, trust me. For a while I thought I was simply not attracted to anyone but now out of nowhere all I can think of his her, it’s humiliating”

“It’s not humiliating, it’s called being in love!” James jumped in defensively.

“You just say that because that's how you feel about Lily. But someone had to speak the truth”

“I don’t need this kind of negativity, V”

“Neither do I, so I’m going to go change and talk to Marlene as if I don’t have feelings for her. Sounds easy enough?”

“Why did you pose that as a question?”

“Because I know that i’m not gonna be able to keep my fucking cool, you toss-pot”


	2. Fifth year - Anything for my Marls

“Mar, hey. How was your summer?”

“It was alright. My boyfriend let me visit his family cottage, it was lovely!”

Ah yes, as if Venus didn’t already feel depressed due to the idea of unrequited love and general self hatred, she now had to deal with hearing Marlene boast about her lovely boyfriend and his lovely life. If it were anyone else, Venus would tell them to shut the fuck up about their private life right then and there, but hey, the things we do for love. Even if it’s a waste of efforts.

“Oh yeah, how’s your boyfriend doing?”

“Well, we actually broke up”

“What? Why?”

“I guess I wasn’t into him in that way from the start, I was just blinded by my constant need for attention.”

This was one of the many things Venus loved about Marlene McKinnon. Marlene never beat around the bush, and she would always be dead honest even if her life depended on it. She was also refreshingly self-aware.

“I’m not the best when it comes to consolidating but I hope you’re doing okay”

“I think I’m doing better than ever actually. You know Dorcas?”

“Meadowes?”

“Mhm. What do you think of her?”

“Well, she's really pretty. And she's the best keeper our quidditch team has ever had.”

“Do you think I’d have a shot with her?”

If Venus were currently in the middle of drinking something, she would’ve spat it all out in complete and utter shock. Her brain was having a hard time processing things. Did Marlene just openly admit she likes girls? Venus knew Marlene was straightforward but this felt like a whole different wavelength.

“Venus?”

“Oh, uh… Yeah, I think you could get with her if you wanted to...”

Venus felt like someone just threw shit at her face and purposely rubbed it in. That hurt saying it out loud. Something in her had wished that she just blurted out her feelings to Marlene, to rip off the bandage as soon as possible. But then her brain did something very, very bad.

“...but I think the only effective way to grab her attention is to make her jealous. Say for example, if you were to flirt with me in front of her to make her jealous”

The whole she's digging herself is just getting bigger and bigger.

“You think that would work?”

“If you want to try it then i’m okay with it. Anything for my Marls”

She hated the way the words were rolling off her tongue. She hated the way she was only doing this for a personal gain. She hated the fact that Marlene saw Venus as her straight friend willing to help her out.

“Thank you! And who knows, maybe you can make someone jealous through this also?”

“Yeah, like who?

“Sirius, of course! I see the two of you, don’t think I didn’t piece it together. You guys must be secretly in love or something.”

Ah, Marlene. Honesty might be her best policy, but being observant is definitely not. For all Venus knew, Sirius could be in love with Remus. But Venus couldn’t deny, if Sirius were to ask her out she’d probably say yes in an instant. Sirius was in her eyes, the definition of dreamy. With his tall stature, long, slick black hair and obsession with Queen, Sirius was most definitely attractive. But Venus knew that they’d always just be friends, so she’d simply just admire his beauty from a distance. She often thought it was more envy than it was finding him attractive, if anything.

“Well, that could benefit me, I suppose”

Liar.

“Perfect! Operation Varlene is in action”

“Varlene?”

“Don’t judge, I made the name up as I was talking”

“Your unpredictability astounds me”

“But you love me”

Oh boy, if only Marlene knew.

-

Venus came back to the carriage in her fresh robes and a solemn look on her usually expressionless face. 

“V, you alright?”

“No. Marlene wants me to flirt with her”

“I beg your pardon?”

Sirius looked like he had seen a ghost. James looked utterly confused.

“I know, you’re about to say ‘Oh, congratulations! You did it!’ but no, I didn’t do it. In fact, I did the very opposite. I literally offered for Marlene to flirt with me so Dorcas Meadowes will be interested in her, because we all know how Dorcas has a thing for taking someone else’s girl”

“How the fuck is that a logical plan? If Marlene has no idea how you feel about her, things are just going to get shittier the further you move along with this plan!”

“You think I don’t know that? But if this is the closest I’ll get to being with Marlene then I’ll take it”

“Fine, I won’t judge. Just know that it’s not very Gryffindor of you to not admit your feelings to her. Don’t be such a coward, Kingsley”

Sirius’ eyes flickered a look of disappointment after James’ words. Venus wondered where his head was at after his breakup with the Ravenclaw over the summer. She assumed he was going through a tough time but if there was one thing she knew about Sirius, it’s that you should never pry into his personal life, even if you are one of his best friends. But she took a mental note to talk with him in private about it later. He seemed awfully distant from her at this point in time.

-

The grand hall was decorated to the nines as always. Candelabras floating above each table, a night sky projected onto the ceilings. Venus was a sucker for stargazing, so zoning out to the pretty ceiling sounded like just what she needed to clear her head. But clearing her head had to wait when she heard a familiar voice call her name.

“Veeeee! There you are!”

And now it begins.

“Marls, hey”

“Be more enthusiastic. Dorcas is looking in our direction” Marlene whispered under her breath.

Venus didn’t know if it was her conscious, or lack thereof that caused her to have a desire to become impulsive. She was always calculated, planning a few steps ahead, until Marlene decided to become her only living and breathing thought. Fuck it, she thought. If she were to convince everyone as well as herself that falling for Marlene was not a great option, maybe the feelings would stop. But that wouldn’t stop her from jumping at the opportunity that lay in front of her.

“Hey babe, want to go to the astronomy tower together after dinner?” Venus said, just within earshot of the Gryffindor keeper.

As Marlene predicted, Dorcas immediately became curious about her. But that’s how things already took a turn for the worst. Dorcas then started walking to the pair, her eyes solely on Marlene.

“You two an item?”

“Uh, yeah. S'pose so”

“I’m surprised that Venus is your type, Marlene. I would’ve assumed your type was someone…”

Like me, Venus assumed Dorcas was thinking. The girl was smart, she was very much someone who waited to pounce, rather than rushing into something blindly like Venus seemed to be doing. 

“...more mature. As long as Venus doesn’t mind, I’d love to steal you away after dinner. I’m sure the astronomy tower can wait a day?”

Great. Not only did Dorcas have a way with words, but she was a year older than the two. She had experience, she was confident, and she most definitely didn’t suffer from depression and have intense self-hatred. Yet again another polar opposite of Venus. Merlin, why was Venus chosen to be the one who never gets what they want.

“Sure… I guess I’ll just hang out with the Marauders later, then. See ya Marls”

All Venus could think was make it stop. Make the heartache stop because it hurts. For fucks sake, it’s the first day back at Hogwarts and she couldn’t keep her shit together. Pathetic. What she hated the most was the fact that Marlene looked happy. Was Venus a horrible person for being selfish, for wanting a chance with someone she had feelings for? Was it worth the heartbreak just to spend more time with her? She couldn’t handle her own thoughts so she stood up from the table where a bit further down the marauders were talking.

“V, wait up! Where ya going?”

Venus’ eyes sparkled as she turned to face Sirius, who was currently holding onto her wrist tightly, pleading for her to walk with him. She was glad to see Sirius talking to her, because he had been seemingly avoidant throughout dinner and the sorting ceremony.

“Library”

If there was one thing anyone should know about Sirius or Venus, it’s that neither are seen within a kilometer radius of the Hogwarts Library. Not because they were banned from it after the bookcase incident in second year, but because neither would ever be caught dead studying. Their catch phrase might as well have been “fuck productivity” seeing as they both couldn’t care less for academics. Sirius with the ideology that his looks will get him anywhere he needs to go, and Venus with the ideology that her great knowledge of curses would be just enough for anyone to do anything for her.

“You and I both know that you hate the library more than Walburga hates me. And that’s saying something. So what’s up?”

“I’ll tell you under one condition…”

“--No. Absolutely not. We both know I don’t do feelings”

“... then I won’t tell you about my problems”

“Are you serious?”

“No, you are”

Sirius rolled his eyes at the running joke of the past 5 years, knowing damn well that he was holding back a laugh because the joke still happened to get him. Every single time.

“Fine. But now for my condition…”

“--Since when do you have a condition? Can two people not have a conversation without one?”

“...we will get nowhere near the Library but instead head to the Black Lake”

“Deal. Let’s go”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, all Venus does is mope around and hate everyone. Character development can wait.


End file.
